A Good Divorce?
What a strange idea! Surely there is no such thing. Divorce is a bad experience.
Not so.
Divorce is the legal ending of a partnership and there are generally 3 aspects to resolve:
- Ending the marriage
- Sorting out the money
- Making arrangements for any children
If there are no children then this is simpler still.
Acrimony tends to creep in where one party feels aggrieved at the separation or the reasons for it. This can often be where there are 3rd parties involved or where they feel the other party is wholly to blame.
From a legal perspective, the reasons for the divorce have very relevance to the outcome. It is much better if the parties can move on from that and look on it slightly dispassionately. Just like in Frozen there is a need to “Let it go.”
Sometimes this is easier when the parties have been separated for a while. However, that can cause other difficulties as the finances may have changed since separation and that can lead to other disputes.
The best divorces I have seen are where the parties have agreed what they feel would be best for their children in terms of where they should live and the contact pattern that will work for them. Then when compromises are needed then they are doing it for the sake of the children, rather than it being a battle with their spouse. These plans seem to follow much more smoothly with each party’s housing needs being considered and taken into account.
Co-parenting continues after divorce and good co-parenting can cushion the emotional effects some children experience. Children who feel loved and valued with each parent and hear each parent being respectful and polite about the other tend to cope better and avoid emotional impact from sensing parents who do not like each other or are negative about the other parent.
In simple terms, a good divorce involves looking at what assets there are, what each person needs and trying to work out a fair way of meeting those needs. Where there are children this has to be done from the perspective of what works best for them.
You can contact our Family Law Team on 0800 160 10 10 and arrange a free 30 minute consultation.
